tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36780931212669140602011-10-04T10:49:36.493-07:00Looking at Life From Under a Rockthe Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.comBlogger201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-80257036141907521912011-01-07T02:57:00.001-08:002011-01-07T02:57:39.052-08:00

I recently read where it took Leonardo daVinci twelve years to paint the lips of the Mona Lisa. Must be because she never stopped talking. It's a good thing he wasn't painting Mick Jagger's lips, he'd still be at it. Come to think of it though, with Jagger he could have used a roller. Leonardo should have lived long enough to see the advent of modern art. Modern art is technically crap that

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-14428549174763641372011-01-01T07:12:00.000-08:002011-01-01T07:18:39.577-08:00

On January 1, 1876, in honor of the American centennial, the first area-wide New Year's Day Mummers' Parade was held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Now your first reaction, if you're like me, was to wonder aloud; "What the hell is a mummer?" Turns out it's one of three things, in descending order of decency; 1. A masked or costumed merrymaker 2. One who acts or plays in a pantomime. (That's right

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-69138698427817001332010-11-14T08:31:00.000-08:002010-12-09T01:15:56.952-08:00

I should have looked in the mirror when I took my dog for a walk yesterday. Since it was hunting season I wore my bright orange Syracuse sweatshirt. On top of this put my bright red jacket vest. With my signature brown hermit hat I looked like a giant gay pumpkin. No need I guess then to worry about getting shot while taking my walk near the woods. I think I heard some laughter from the trees;

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-68940231372163783892010-10-20T15:20:00.000-07:002010-10-20T15:20:28.970-07:00

It just recently came to my attention that this was Cat Week. That’s the kind of information you miss when you turn your your TV off for the summer. I hope this doesn’t mean they are going to run the musical Cats all week; if you have ever thought that that there is still hope for the world all you have to do is sit through that musical. That musical should have been neutered after its first

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-3828788013015626912010-10-10T04:27:00.001-07:002010-10-10T04:28:04.536-07:00

We were supposed to be in Virginia this weekend visiting my Father, as well as my brother and his wife Bonnie. Instead, I'm sitting here in the comfort of home enjoying a rare day off doing nothing (doing nothing is not rare, just the day off). This is because the entire East coast of the United States is under a Noah-like deluge. The forecast called for heavy rains and strong winds all the way

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-50218536002246804212010-09-25T06:57:00.001-07:002010-09-25T06:57:55.581-07:00

There seems to be a new infestation in the county where I live; Mennonites. We live in a very rural area and these pests seem to be overrunning all the local farms. Overrunning them in the sense that they're buying them all. You can tell that they are a Mennonite farm because they are neat and well organized and there isn't liquid manure spread as far as the eye can see. It's UnAmerican. Which

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-62876929761888077452010-09-14T17:30:00.001-07:002010-09-14T17:33:41.194-07:00

One of the most telling aspects of modern life is when you sit down together to enjoy a nice dinner at the end of the day only to be interrupted by a telemarketer trying to sell you feminine deodorant products. Or asking you if you know that the country is under attack from the far other political side, and only a check to them will help them stem the tide. Annoying as these intrusions are,

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-15993246558576040842010-09-06T13:38:00.001-07:002010-09-06T13:46:29.455-07:00

I recently was given a William Henry Harrison gold dollar. It lasted in my house about as long as Mr. Harrison lasted in the White House. William Henry Harrison will always bear the distinction of having the shortest chapter in any book on the Presidency. This is because he only served for one month as President, though he accomplished as much in that time period as several subsequent presidents

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-21476757131969012322010-09-02T15:44:00.001-07:002010-09-06T13:31:44.655-07:00

Oh my God! Did you hear that? It sounded just like footsteps coming down the hallway! It's late at night, I'm alone in a dark house, and I'm hearing footsteps coming towards my door. Either it's a prowler, or a manifestation of a former inhabitant of this old farmhouse, coming to pay me a visit. Or maybe it's my fat cat. He just came waddling into the room, and when he waddles it sounds just

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-32010755068227491722010-08-25T15:37:00.000-07:002010-08-25T15:37:34.410-07:00

I think the number one word you shouldn’t use in church is orgasm. It’s not that we never talked in about sex in the church I used to attend, it was just that it was always in a rather poor context. Oh, they would say the obligatory “Sex is a gift from God” but they would spend the rest of their time exhorting you to never ever want to give this gift to anyone other than your spouse. Even if your

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-45631017509141274142010-08-18T16:24:00.001-07:002010-08-18T16:26:53.012-07:00

My son Paul came home from college a while back and saw a copy of the book The Nag Hammadi Scriptures lying on our coffee table. It's a book of “missing” scriptures; books written during the time the other more accepted books of the Bible were being written. If you read some of these books, such as the The Holy Book of the Great Invisible Spirit, you would believe that LSD was around a lot longer

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-15119305976882859122010-08-13T05:59:00.000-07:002010-08-13T06:11:23.101-07:00

Being in a democracy means that you have certain freedoms, such as being able to vote for the people who will tell what you can't do. Presidents are chosen because of their vast appeal. Vice Presidents are usually chosen because they bring some sort of balance to the political ticket. For instance, Barack Obama was young and inexperienced, and brilliant so he had to choose a running mate who was

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-30037145560013748342010-08-05T09:05:00.001-07:002010-08-05T09:14:51.201-07:00

“The morning sun when it’s in your face really shows your age….” Gee, that lyric from Rod Stewart’s Maggie May always brings a tear to my eye, probably because my wife sings it to me every morning. It used to be kind of a funny lyric, now it’s just a statement of fact. It seems that I look at all my music a little differently these days.If you’re getting older like me you may want to play a

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-29250531541141112252010-08-01T15:49:00.001-07:002010-08-03T19:15:09.306-07:00

A good way to be an underachiever is to be a third-born child. Third-born children tend to be more relaxed, though my relaxed nature has often bordered on comatose. This is especially true if you're a second-born boy and the first born boy is a real achiever. My older brother Bob is certainly that. He has always been smart, talented, capable, good-looking, personable, and several other things I

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-7856718159001848872010-07-20T16:55:00.001-07:002010-07-20T17:01:46.420-07:00

My mother bought me a leather fringed vest for my 18th birthday. It was genuine cowhide leather, and believe me when I tell you it looked better on me than it did the cow. It had a real Western look and feel to it; I think Dale Evans had one just like it.  When I wore it I looked like I had stepped right out of a John Ford movie; the Shootout at the Yahoo Corral. I loved it. My mother bought it

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-79486308440448387082010-04-05T23:22:00.001-07:002010-04-29T06:05:08.608-07:00

I recently saw an article headline on a Woman’s magazine that read; 99 Ways to Please a Woman. Now if you are thinking that it referred to 99 Ways to Please a Woman in Bed, you’re obviously a man. To a woman, sex would be pretty far down the list. From a woman’s perspective, the number #1 way to please a woman in bed is to not bother her when she’s in it. This is not to say that woman aren’t

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-28925106316986270822010-04-05T23:21:00.001-07:002010-04-05T23:21:26.581-07:00

As I was recently standing in my unheated backroom, diligently breaking down cardboard boxes, it dawned on me that we have a pretty small carbon footprint. A carbon footprint is a measure of the impact our activities have on the environment, and in particular climate change. It relates to the amount of greenhouse gases produced in our day-to-day lives through burning fossil fuels for

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-64149236104513204472010-03-04T13:25:00.001-08:002010-03-04T13:25:20.988-08:00

  Getting a haircut has never been one of my favorite outings into the so-called real world, but it’s definitely getting worse. My receding hairline has receded about as far as it can go, so you are probably wondering what all the fuss is about. Well, I’ll tell you. It’s just a little disconcerting to sit down in the barber’s chair and look into the mirror only to see Grizzled Adams staring

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-59044411916211451502010-02-14T13:18:00.000-08:002010-02-14T13:20:33.351-08:00

My wife and I recently had a Senior Moment at the mall, which explains why I don’t get out much. She said she was going shopping for some clothes, and since I had already showered some time during the week I decided to join her for my big weekly outing. When we got to the mall we quickly discussed our course of action and came to a decision we both agreed with. She told me which stores she would

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3678093121266914060.post-65790317642934613872010-01-22T15:33:00.001-08:002010-01-22T15:39:12.717-08:00

I recently read an article entitled Happy Birthday Elvis; 75 Things You May Not Have Known About the King. It should have been titled; 75 More Things I Didn’t Know and Didn’t Care about the King But Thanks for Telling Me Anyways.” However, after reading through all 75 items I was surprised to find out that the King and I have quite a bit in common, besides the obvious one that neither of us

the Hermit Crabnoreply@blogger.com0