Senior Mall Tag

My wife and I recently had a Senior Moment at the mall, which explains why I don’t get out much. She said she was going shopping for some clothes, and since I had already showered some time during the week I decided to join her for my big weekly outing.

When we got to the mall we quickly discussed our course of action and came to a decision we both agreed with. She told me which stores she would shop in and I was told to go the bookstore at the other end of the mall and wait for her there. She had forgotten the leash so she couldn’t just tie me up outside the store entrance.

I walked down to the bookstore and began to browse around the various sections of books until I stumbled into the political aisle, a section far in the back corner. I read several portions of different books representing the differing views on what’s wrong with the country and the best way to fix it. From what I could gather, the Democrats solution would be to have Tinkerbell (who looks a lot like Nancy Pelosi) sprinkle magic fairy dust all over the country. The Republican approach appears to be “What problems?”

Anyway, after almost an hour of enlightening the dark recesses of mind, I figured that my wife should be showing up soon. I thought about going to see if I could find her, but then something in the back of my mind spoke; “Go to the bookstore and stay.” Instinct kicked in and I came to the conclusion that it would be better if I stayed and waited, otherwise, we might spend the next two or three hours (or months) playing mall tag, and if that happened there was no doubt who would be “it” at the end. I didn’t want to hear the “Where have you been, I’ve been looking all over for you?” question after wandering around aimlessly for hours. So I bought a small book, got some mineral water and sat down at a table in front of the bookstore to wait.

After about another thirty minutes I heard a familiar sound rather loudly inquiring, “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you?!!” I quickly looked around trying to locate that foolish person who hadn’t been following their marching orders, only to find that I was the only one sitting there. A bit stunned and confused I replied, “I’ve been right here waiting the whole time.”

“No you haven’t. I’ve been through the bookstore twice. I walked all over the mall looking for you. I finally decided to sit by Target’s” (which was on the opposite end of the mall) and wait for you to show up. So where have you been?”

Now I was beginning to wonder a little. I thought I had been in the bookstore. In the back of my mind I remembered something about Democrats, Republicans and how our country was going to hell, but now I started to doubt myself. After all, she sounded pretty convincing. Obviously, one of us was having a senior moment here. Was it her, who had looked through the bookstore twice, had walked all over the mall and decided to wait ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE MALL FROM WHERE WE AGREED THAT I WOULD STAY? Or was it me, who was sitting and waiting patiently at my designated location?

It had to be me. I couldn’t think of anything else to do, so I reached over, quickly tapped her on the arm and said “You’re it!”