We were supposed to be in Virginia this weekend visiting my Father, as well as my brother and his wife Bonnie. Instead, I'm sitting here in the comfort of home enjoying a rare day off doing nothing (doing nothing is not rare, just the day off). This is because the entire East coast of the United States is under a Noah-like deluge. The forecast called for heavy rains and strong winds all the way from New York to Florida, and since we drive a car that weighs about the same as a bag of pretzels we decided it would be prudent to not go.
This is only the second trip we've planned in the last couple years. The first was only a day trip to New York City to see the Christmas lights. There was a snowstorm and we couldn't go. This time it was to be a three-day trip and the entire east coast was under water. I'm afraid if I ever take a two-week vacation it will be the apocalypse. I knew that my brother and his wife taught dance, so I kiddingly said to my father; “You know, if you didn't want us to come down you could have just said so. That was quite a rain dance you did.” Without batting an eye he replied; “Well, Rick and Bonnie helped.” Fortunately, I don't take these things personally.
Actually, I blame my sisters. My three sisters, plus my Aunt Betty, all got together just the other day. A storm that blankets half the US seems to be an appropriate natural response to such an event. I'm not saying any bat wings or eyes of newt were involved, but one of the nieces mentioned something about having to put a caldron in the dishwasher.
The only other time we went to Virginia was on our way to Tennessee several years ago, where I had to attend a business conference. There were tornado's and flooding in Tennessee that year too. As I mentioned, I'm not the kind of guy who takes these things personally. The highlight of that trip was driving around Knoxville on the way. I had been driving for quite a while, so Paula took over. I was tired from driving and she was tired from talking on the phone while back-seat driving. We were going through the city but it was all expressway that was supposed to take us around the major traffic areas. Except that the entire freeway system was under construction. You could only drive in one lane and there were huge cement walls on both sides. It began to rain REALLY heavily; looking through the windshield was like looking into a murky aquarium. I think we even saw some fish. Perhaps my sisters were having lunch again. Anyway, this meant that the tractor trailers had to slow down to 85 mph as they went past you leaving a tsunami of water over your car.
Freeway construction also played a major part of our last major road trip. We took a trip to Chicago when our second son Micah graduated from his Navy training. The trip to and from Chicago was great; the time in Chicago can only be described as a circular descent into Dante's hell. There was construction everywhere. Our cheerful desk clerk informed us on the Sunday morning we left that we should have no trouble getting out of the city. About two hours later we were sitting on the expressway, not moving at all. The brilliant city planners had designed that where two lanes of traffic merged together with three other lanes of traffic would be a good spot to have them all merge into one lane. It took us nine hours to get out of the city. I would have had plenty of time to walk back the five miles to our hotel and strangle the clerk, but as I said, I don't take these things personally.
So I'm guessing that road trips should no longer be on our agenda. The only solution is to not plan any trips farther than the grocery store, which is fine with me. I am taking dance lessons however; I plan on keeping the storm chasers in Virginia busy for a while. As I may have mentioned, I don't take these things personally.
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